Introvert -> Depression

I operate mostly in my own head. My favorite activities (reading, driving, walks in the woods, surfing the Internet, writing) give me the solitude and time to mull over things. The issue here seems to be when something happens, I need to stop thinking, so I need some type of activity I enjoy that snuffs out the neural activity dwelling on the problem.

  • As an introvert, doing something with a bunch of people is going to make me retreat into my home and think. Only now I also feel bad for not being normal.
  • One week ago, I know I’d hang out with a specific person only now that’s off the table.

In the past, video games were a great way to stop thinking. But, I then I tend to get lost in them. (Read: addicted) My grades plummeted the first time I asked out a girl and was rejected. And the second time. Both times, I retreated into playing video games as much as I could which left no time for homework or other stuff. Eventually I had to choose between relieving stress via video games or getting enough sleep that I was not an asshole at risk of losing my job. Well, I had to make that choice several times.

Another problem is pulling away from everyone. I know that’s a bad response. Especially because it likely will cause a feedback loop that will be harder to break in the long-run.

The other issue really is reaching out to others. The two helping me are basically advising to “stop thinking about it” and “let it go.” Which, I wholly agree, I should. Just nothing has really worked to this point.

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