She launched a thousand ships. She is the archetype of the woman who a man scapegoats in his revision of history to account for the idiocy of men.

I have had a few Helens. When attracted to a woman, I become more intelligent and helpful. They have me wrapped around their pinkie and get me to do things I normally avoid. Like, I do not know how to dance, so getting me to go to prom was insanely crazy. One of the firsts asked me to go with her and she is the only reason why I did with only a week to prepare. Another got me involved in trying to be an organizer as her “lieutenant.” Thankfully, most of these girls never knew the extent to which they manipulated me.

But these Helens mostly all impacted me between 15 and 25. So, I made the mistake of thinking I was past all that.

The latest, let’s call her Briseis, had me wrapped around her pinkie without me realizing what was even happening. I am an idiot. I don’t date. Instead I collect beautiful women who would make fantastic partners, never venture into dating, never discuss it, and then when she fades from my life let the feelings fade with it. This is not the idiot part as I intentionally use this to keep from getting hurt. The idiot part was I somehow opened up to her way more than I should, I think because she was a Helen. Not just once, but over and over with how I felt about her specifically not very specific. She sussed out what was going on. The wound hurt. She felt it better to know than wonder. I… don’t. I thought at the time I was just allowing her to become a great friend, but really I veered off the path into the Black Forest.


This post was inspired because her namesake is another character from the Iliad. I was going to write a post about her with her named Helen when I realized that I have many.


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